WHAT THE HECK IS AGILE PARENTING ANYWAY?

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In Short; Agile Parenting means collaboration, self-organizing, adaptive, evolutionary, continuous improvement, and flexible.

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In Length; Agile Parenting means the ability to work together as a family unit to reach desired goals or outcomes. Each family member has a stake in the process, therefore investment in the overall outcome and the likelihood for it to be successful.

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We approach this together through an attachment-based lens, taking into consideration your family units dynamic and daily capacity. We work collaboratively to create less power struggles, execute solutions, and provide opportunities for more meaningful connections.

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HOW CAN THIS HELP?

You ever feel like your family dynamic is set up like HR? There are people (kiddos) doing things below you, who occasionally need you (parents) to come in and monitor the situation, make big decisions, provide funding, give consultation, navigate consequences and accountability, and above all make sure everyone is happy and things are running smoothly.

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It’s just so much work! All the time! And yes, while parenting is work – it shouldn’t be THIS MUCH. We’ve been set up, we’ve been duped, we’ve been had! Currently functioning in roles where we are the leaders, and we have dependent followers in a dynamic where we’re all suppose to live together.

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We make the decisions and dole out the consequences because that’s our job. Well, at some point those followers, who are part of a family unit, are going to want to have a say and the ability to have an input, a vote, a voice at the table.

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This is often when we see behaviours in kiddos as a form of communication to seek autonomy within safe boundaries. They know what the consequences are but are willing to risk it to feel like they have some self-advocacy in how they navigate their life (in young kiddos this can often look like the explosive “temper tantrum” and in pre-teens rebellion and withdrawal).

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Bear with me here – I’m not saying that kiddos get free range to decide what and when and how to live their life completely; what I am saying is that we need to work together to start working together (yes, you read that right). This is where Agile Parenting comes in – where we step back for a moment and really look at how we can encourage family collaboration to reach desired goals or outcomes that everyone has had an investment in, understands, and can rely on (collective input, collective output, collective consistency). In Agile we share information between family members and value what each member’s input is (even if it’s just refusing to eat broccoli). We use this collective information to foster the tools, resources, and strategies we create together.

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When a family collaborates as a team and everyone knows what the best and worst possible outcomes are; then each member has an investment in their navigation through the family unit as an individual and as a whole.

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HOW LONG WILL THE PROCESS TAKE?

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That all depends. Each family is unique and has their own abilities and capacities. Some children want to engage and contribute quicker than others. Some families need more sessions to work out bigger obstacles and some families just need one to get a new perspective, see a different approach and learn how to execute it. I like to focus my initial session on collecting information on your top 3 struggles, help to create tools, strategies and resources to address those struggles and leave you feeling like you can go and implement something that night. Usually with changing the approach to some of the struggles, there is a decrease in the rest of the behaviour in other areas as well. I find that most times 1.5 to 2 hours for an initial session is a good opportunity to allow parents to vent and leave feeling like they have a plan of action. 

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WILL MY INSURANCE COVER THE COST?

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While most insurance plans will only cover the costs of registered social workers, psychotherapists, and psychiatrists - some will cover costs for other mental health support services under a "health and wellness" benefit. For more detailed information on your own situation, I recommend reaching out to your private insurance to inquire about Parent Coaching from a Child and Youth Worker. 

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HOW DO I BOOK AN APPOINTMENT?

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You can send an email to agileparenting@outlook.com or visit my ‘contact’ page.